Merchandise

Wedding Date: Be like Debra Messing! Available for high school reunions, weddings, formals, soirees, balls, fundraisers, proms (18+), galas, red carpet/charity events, office parties, etc. $149.99 for 1/2 day, $249.99 a day (plus expenses).

Autographed DVD's: Pick any movie from my "Movie Posters" page. Make sure your pause button is in good working order... $24.99.

Autographs: I doubt Bin Laden, Hitler or Stalin would come cheaper. $19.99.

Action Figure: Comes with martini glass, tux, Hot (or Not) Wheels BMW convertible, braces, Ivy League diploma, mirror, Mensa/SAG card, weights. (Bachelor Pad sold separately). $49.99.

White T-shirts: (XL only - just like my ego).

Paypal to sgnu88 at hotmail

17 different captions ($19.99 each):

1. Mensa Member w/ Muscles

2. All this AND I'm Ivy League educated

3. I'm a 9.7 on Hot or Not

4. I've had lunch with the Secretary of Defense

5. I can bench/squat/leg press over 1200 lbs combined

6. I am going to the gym in 26 minutes

7. I drive a Bimmer convertible

8. I have worked on 29 motion pictures

9. I am a personal trainer on the side

10. You have to impress ME and meet MY criteria and standards

11. I winked at John Fitzgerald Page and all I got was an impolite email!

12. Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what you can do for John Fitzgerald Page

13. John Fitzgerald Page for President

14. I live in a high rise w/ a concierge and an amazing view of downtown

15. I'm not arrogant, I'm accomplished!

16. Warning: Male Ego - Out of Control!

17. I have 55+ IMDb.com credits

Send a copy of your order to sgnu88 at hotmail as well.

Add $5 for shipping, $3 for additional items (continental U.S. only). Paypal fees of 2.9% + 30 cents on item cost.

"Big"head Life-size Wall Graphics: Sized for Mansions or McMansions only. $99.99.

Personal Training: Get in shape for off or online dating. $49.99/session or $99.99/week (4 sessions) or $199.99/month (16 sessions).

Book: Don't Hit Send! Coming soon! $19.99.

Movie / TV Stills: I will sign any still from my "Scenes" page. Who needs the signature of Kathy Bates when you can have mine? Framed. $49.99.

"Flex" Armstrong doll: Only comes in one pose - fully flexed. $49.99.

ACTOR / MODEL